


Freedom in a Cage (Love by Chance FF)

by shuusetsu



Category: 2wish, BL - Fandom, Love By Chance - Fandom, Yaoi - Fandom, boyslove - Fandom, love by chance the series - Fandom, meanplan - Fandom, my accidental love is you, tincan - Fandom
Genre: Angst, BDSM References, Drama, M/M, Other, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2019-10-27 23:06:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17775944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shuusetsu/pseuds/shuusetsu
Summary: Funny how fast time flies. Yet he still feels like a prisoner caged at a standstill.Eight years ago, he'd let go without knowing what he was releasing. Eight years ago his life also started crumbling down.Dignity was the only thing he had left. The day he bows down so low, will probably on the day he dies.Funny how life works though. The day Can realized dignity wouldn't help his family, was the day he'd find himself at the mercy of one Tin Medthanan.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *This story takes place eight years after Can rejected Tin.*  
> *MATURE CONTENT* *bdsm references*. 
> 
> ________________________  
> cover from twitter photos cr;  
> @IPLAN2M34NStory & @Mymeannnn

Can just got off from an eight hour night shift from the diner he was working at. The sun was harsh on his eyes, he had to squint despite the cap he was wearing on his head. Hands inside the front pockets of his hoodie, Can jogged his way through the pedestrian lane, pushing through the rush hour of people about to go to their work and offices.

At the other side of the streets, a trio of students were loudly debating why their school's team lost at their game the other day. Can didn't have to wonder what sports it was about. The tallest of them was holding a soccer ball to his side. The shorter one was wearing a jersey he was very much familiar with. The middle one was flipping through a local newspaper where the name of a huge university was plastered all over the front in red letters.

Can's steps slowed down as he watched the kids pass him by. He watched their backs, their promising youth radiating off of them. He missed that soccer uniform. He missed everything about the life he'd once known. But he was a man now. He didn't have the freedom to pity himself for what he'd become. He was proud he was helping his aging mom and his sister.

He started walking to his destination. He was used to ignoring those little voices in his head by now. Yet he found himself glancing back to the kids. He used to be like that too. Not a care to the world. Just worrying about his rumbling stomach. Pissing off his seniors. What a carefree student he'd been.

"If I graduated back then, would I be those kids' assistant coach by now?" Can whispered. Once in a while, those 'what ifs' still reigned. He forced himself to walk back.

Carefree Can was a lifetime ago. The life he was living now was far from carefree.

\--------

The white halls were still very quiet at this time of the day. Aside from the occasional persons in white walking down the stairs and floors, the third floor of the hospital was peaceful. No one would suspect it was filled with sorrows and hopes tipping to the edge.

Can paused at the door, drawing a deep breath and puffing out his chest. Carefree Can sometimes had to make an appearance so his mom and sister wouldn't worry.

He raised his hand to knock, but before his knuckles could even land on the door's surface, he froze.

Ai'Lay's sob filled through the slightest gap of the door, making Can freeze.

"Shss... it's alright," the familiar sound of his Mom's voice filtered through. "It's going to be alright."

"Ma," Lay's voice cracked. "I don't want to go blind. I don't want to go blind..."

"You're not going blind baby."

Can's hand slowly fell down to his side. His eyes stinging. Eight years ago did really make a number in his life. His mom got laid off. And being the only male in the family, he felt that the responsibility was on him now. He forgone his own dreams to make sure his mom had help and his sister continued going to school.

He had no time to examine the gaping hole in his chest after that blurry day in the parking lot almost ten years ago.

As if their financial situation wasn't bad enough already, four years ago, his sister's eyes started to decline. They thought it was just his sister's penchant for reading too much with her phone's glare. But then the headaches came. The throwing up followed after. And one expensive scan later, a growing tumor was discovered lodge in his sister's brain.

It was so slow in progression that the effect was so hard to bear. They'd tried everything, digging themselves into tons of debts but the tumor kept on growing. Surgery was the only thing left to do yet Thailand wasn't offering said surgery yet.

He was working his ass off to send Lemon to the US or UK. But who was he kidding? Minimum wage plus the paycheck he was earning from other odd jobs wouldn't be able to send anyone outside of the country.

Can quickly swiped at the tear that rolled off his cheek. His sister had been a cheeky young woman back then. She terrorized him and controlled him and blackmailed him. What he'd do to get that sister back and not the one always quiet and crying in her small hospital room.

He pushed the door abruptly, grin wide on his face. "Hello good morning!" He paused by the doorframe, exaggeratedly eyeing Lay. "Why is my pretty sister crying?"

Their mom smiled tightly at him. If anyone knew this acting Can had mastered, it was no one other than his mom.

"P'Can..." Lay mumbled, pulling on the covers over his face. "I'm not pretty. I'm going blind."

"Hey, hey," Can added, striding to the bed and sitting on the corner. "No one's going blind. Just a bit more time and I'll be able to-"

"You don't even have a proper job! Stop with your promises!"

Their mother shook her head slightly. Her smile understanding. Although what his sister said hurt, he knew it was the pain and the misery of his sister talking and not her actually. More often than not, Lay cried for him than her condition.

"Oi..." Can forced a laugh. "Look at Bill Gates and that founder of Facebook! They didn't graduate but they're rich now!"

Lay didn't respond. She just lay there under her blankets, sniffing.

Can sighed and reached out to his mom's hand. He silently fished for the envelope at the back of his jeans and handed it to his mom. It was for the day to day expenses. Now that his mom resigned from her job too to focus on Lay, Can wasn't only scraping for hospital bills but also for their daily needs.

He looked away when he noticed his mom's eyes reddening. If he couldn't handle Lay crying, he couldn't handle it even more when it was his mom.

"Thank you," his mom mouthed silently.

He stood and patted down his jeans. "I gotta go now. I'm so good at my job at the donut shop they'd go bankrupt without me."

His mom tightened her hold on his hand. "Find time to rest Can..."

"I'm so full of energy like this, what's rest?"

His mom frowned at him knowingly. He ignored it and turned to Lay. "I'm leaving for now. If you're good, I might just buy you a new release of that BL you want."

He fought the urge to laugh when he noticed his sister very slightly move from under the covers. She's a young woman now, adult by social standards, but if anything, she still liked pairing guys with another guys. If it made her happy, Can would buy a BL manga for her with his spare change than eat.

\---------------

Gucci came trotting towards the entry way the moment Can opened the door. This house was a lot smaller than their previous house. Five years of living here and he still missed the garden his beloved dog could run around into. Can tucked his shoes into the shoebox to the side and kneeled on one knee when Gucci finally came to greet him.

"Hello Baby Gucci," Can cooed. Gucci was no more a baby. The dog was a lot older now, his movements slower than they used to. But Plan kept on calling him the gentle giant because Gucci would be his forever baby. After kissing the dog's wet nose, Can stood and dragged his sleepy self towards the bathroom. Gucci trailing behind him. "I can't take you to a walk this morning," he said. "I gotta head to the donut shop. I'm going to be late Gucci."

The pitiful dog whined. The dog was also suffering and Can couldn't do nothing but to give the dog hugs and kisses. He couldn't even squeeze a time to play with him anymore. He shook his head.

"I promise Gucci, I'll buy you a treat. I just really have to prepare for now, okay?"

He glanced one last time to Gucci and made a beeline to the bathroom. The moment the door clicked shut, he got enveloped in total silence. And for some reason, instead of relief, total heaviness settled on his shoulders. He staggered to the toilet lid and sat himself, releasing the breath he didn't even know he was holding.

It shocked him. The moment he heard that faint whimper, Can didn't know where it was coming from. Then he realized it was him. And that nearly drove him mad with a fierce sadness, tears began to flood his eyes.

He wasn't okay. He was tired. He was sad. He had many people around him, but he was insufferably lonely.

"It's alright. I'm happy," he lied. Fake it till you feel it was his motto nowadays. "I'm happy. Can, you're happy."

But the tears from his eyes were sign enough that deep within, his heart knew he was lying.

He shook his head and peeled his hoodie off his body. He threw it to the basket by the corner and stood, facing himself through the mirror. He rarely looked at mirrors nowadays. He had no reason to and he didn't like what he was seeing. But today, he forced his red-rimmed eyes to look at the surface.

He started from his neck to his much prominent collarbones. His shoulders were much pointy. His stomach flat as a board. He was way thinner now. Way thinner than he'd like. For someone gung-ho about soccer before, he'd never last at a game with this kind of body anymore. It was only his luck that his baby fat still clung to his cheeks that saved him from looking so gaunt.

He was mostly still flagged by police officers when he was doing deliveries for the diner thinking he was still underage. Can laughed in spite of himself. Sometimes he didn't recognize himself anymore.

_"It's good money. Call me when you've decided to give it a try."_

He grimaced at the memory. The flashback he so didn't want to entertain anymore because each second, it was getting more and more tempting.

Karl used to work at the diner the same as him. But a month later, the guy resigned and weirdly was living the high life now. Whenever he had the chance to check which was rare, Can's social feed was full of Karl's travelling here and there. It was... mind boggling.

_"Can. Aren't you tired of this rat race? We keep on working like slaves. You keep working like a slave. But has it done you or your sister any good?"_

"Shut up... stop," Can gritted.

 _"Those clients,"_ Karl's voice continued. _"They're all loaded. So much so they don't know what to do with their money."_

"But it's... selling yourself."

_"To the rich. I'd take that than withering away at a job that wouldn't take me anywhere."_

Can scrubbed his face with both of his hands. Karl's smug face taking more and more vividness at the back of his mind.

 _"Those rich people? They dig the likes of you."_ Karl waved at Can's face. _"Cute. Baby-ish. They love playing those kind of games."_

"I don't..."

_"Call me. Give it a try. Just once. Join a party once and if you don't like it at all, never join again. I'm telling you this because I'm concerned. It's already like we've sold ourselves to the devil working for the asshole owner of the diner. If I'd serve the devil, I'd rather serve the real ones. At least they give back so much more."_

Can turned the faucet on and splashed cold water onto his face. Gucci's barks called out to him. He didn't bother looking at the mirror again and just trudged out the bathroom, feeling ashamed that he was even thinking about his friend's words.

He followed the dog's noises and found the dog barking at the envelops that were lying just below the front door. He peered at the peephole and noticed the apartment supervisor's retreating back.

He didn't even want to touch the envelopes but he had to. Water drops still sliding from his face to his neck, Can took the envelopes, one by one scanning them. "Water bill... electric bill... rent..." He couldn't believe it. It felt as though he'd just paid them last month and here was another, endlessly drilling a hole to his almost nonexistent savings. There was an attached note to the rent envelope. In bold red letters it said, "PAY THIS FRIDAY OR YOU CAN GO LIVE SOMEWHERE ELSE". It was already Thursday.

"I just gave all my money to mom... I wouldn't be getting paid till next week..."

Gucci whined, probably sensing Can's distress. Can smiled at the dog despite the quiver on his lips.

"It's alright. P'Can won't let you live on the streets. You're my baby."

The dog cocked his head to the side, his massive eyes questioning. As if asking him 'how would you do that?'

"There are ways..." he choked. Ways he didn't want to explore if he could. But at this point, there was no choice. He had to hold on to the knife to save his life and this family.

Can dropped the envelopes to the kitchen island. His eyes darting to the phone he rarely used resting beside the fake fruits on the counter. His fingers were shaking. Reaching towards it felt like he was holding out to a snake. The cold device didn't bite him though.

He scrolled through a number and texted "Call me" because he didn't have freaking credits for his prepaid phone to make a single damn call.

A few seconds later, Can nearly jumped out of his skin when the name of his friend lit the screen of his phone.

"H-hello, Karl?" he asked cautiously.

"Can. I'll give you an address."

It seemed like he didn't have to explain himself to Karl at all. The guy could have sensed his dilemma and decision from miles away. Can was really doing this. All for money.

Funny how he always used to say that "money couldn't buy him". And now he was the one who's going to sell himself.

\-----------------

**Chapter end notes:**

Thanks for reading! I'm in love with TINCAN. See you next next chapter!

-shuusetsu


	2. II

**II**

"Can! Can!"

He was just about to turn towards the stairs when the exasperated sound of a woman's voice called out to him. Can turned to look and was met by their neighbor four doors away from theirs. He liked her. She has helped them so much throughout the years.

"Ms Pie, hello," he greeted. "What's wrong?"

"I'm so sorry Can. But can you do me a favor?"

Can looked at his watch. The time Karl had texted him was four hours away yet. He wasn't in a hurry or something. If anything, he would welcome all the distractions he could take before his brain talked him out and he ended backing from whatever this appointment entailed.

"I'm always willing to help," he said. The relief on the woman's face was like flood fading and drying out and it brought her beautiful features usually hidden under layers of fatigue back. Mothers really had it hard. Especially single ones. Ms Pie and his mom were the same on that aspect. That maybe the reason he couldn't leave her alone too.

"Lake is having his football training at Bangkok University. You know, little league. I can't bring him right now because Mist is sick. I just can't let her alone even for a few minutes. Could you take him? He's been crying nonstop. Didn't want to miss his game. And it's their first time setting foot in the university it's like a fieldtrip for him."

Can exhaled, his grin forming on his lips. Lake was an eight-year old kid with the energy of a bull. The kid talked nothing but football. Can wasn't complaining. "That's not a favor, I'd gladly take him there."

Ms Pie tucked stray hairstrands back behind her ear and smiled sadly at him. Can knew what was coming next. "I'm sorry. I know you didn't like coming back to the Uni..."

Can forced his smile a notch brighter. "Ms Pie, stopping Uni was my choice. Besides, it's not like I don't like going there. I just can't visit because I have no time."

"And you have time now, right?" she asked hastily. "You're not forcing it into your ridiculous job hours?"

"No, no," Can shook his head. "I'm free today. We'll, uh I have work tonight. A uhm, new job but that's later. So I can take Lake to his game."

"Alright. You saved me and my ears. Thank you!"

Out of the blur of the after-lunch traffic and Lake chattering away at how he couldn't wait to grow up and be a pro, Can's mind kept on returning to things, bits and pieces of memories that happened a lifetime ago. It might have even happened in a different dimension or alternate universe given the numbness those memories never fail to bring him in. Maybe because he was in the university again?

The sound of the coach blasting his whistle called to Can's attention. He was sitting at the middle part of the bleachers, ignoring the lick of heat on his skin as the summer heat continued slinking around them. He wiped a stray drop of sweat on his forehead and stood. He caught Lake's attention by waving and motioned that he'll be leaving already. The kid just waved back, knowing his mom will pick him up later in the afternoon.

Can walked slowly. Tracing the same steps he'd done back when he was still a student here. He stared at the asphalt, listened to the faraway chatters of students scattered in the campus. It was so odd that after all the years, the university has changed so much yet still was the same.

"..."

Squinting at the glare of the sun, Can found himself swallowing hard. He shouldn't be here. He didn't even intend going in there. But there he was standing in an almost empty parking lot. Like he did seven years ago.

He bit his bottom lip and ignored the pang of loss that always followed whenever he remembers that day. He did a mistake. He knew that and there was no way to correct it anymore. He was so confused back then. He wasn't confused now but it was too late.

"But if I'd be given a chance... at least... let me say sorry..." he whispered into the air. "Where are you Tin?"

=========================

Around four in the afternoon, Can stopped by a family restaurant to take an early dinner. The building nervousness in him was beginning to take its toll that if he didn't eat now, he wouldn't be able to later.

Can sat at the farthest booth, closest to the small TV set hanging by the corner of the wall. Busy chewing his food he couldn't even taste, he nearly choked at the news flash that cut through the TV drama that was playing previously.

"Son of Thai Tycoon finally back after long eight years."

Can nearly dropped his chopsticks. The man going out of the airport into the awaiting Mercedes was Tin. Yet he wasn't either. He was taller. He was bigger. And the wall that Can used to know felt like it had grown into a fortress he could feel it right where he sat.

"What have you been up to these past years?" one reporter shouted, still following despite the body guards trailing behind and around Tin Medthanan. The man kept on walking everyone was surprised when he took his dark glasses off his face. A very sculpted gorgeous face that nearly stopped everyone on their feet. The reported got his bearings right away though. "Will you be finally taking over and helping your brother with the Empire?"

Tin just smiled. He just smiled and hopped into the waiting doors of the car and no later the whole nation was watching the tail end of the car, leaving everyone in hushed speculations.

Can lost his appetite, only staring at his half eaten dinner. He forced himself to eat. He didn't like wasting. But his heart was hammering against his chest. His blood rushing in his veins, he could hear it pounding in his ears.

Tin was back. In Thailand. In the same land, under the same sky. The man was really back after so many years.

For some reason, Can felt cold wetness on his cheeks as he chewed through his food. He felt relief. He felt weird joy to see Tin again, if only through the television. Because he'd been worried sick about him all these years.

He didn't have the time to be emotional though. For the time felt like fast forwarding on him and he found himself in a strange place, in front of a strange man, eyeing him strangely.

"Is this him?"

Can stood like a specimen under the scrutiny of a microscope. He tried to stand tall, instead of cowering at the sharp brown eyes eyeing him up and down.

"Yes, yes, Mama. The friend I'm talking about."

The tall man Karl was calling 'Mama' frowned at Can like he was disappointed. "He looks like a deer frozen in front of the headlights. I don't like inexperienced guys."

"Well give him a chance so he wouldn't be inexperienced anymore!" Karl said with a smirk. "He fits the bill though right? A couple lessons about the lifestyle of our clients and he'd be good to go."

'Mama' sighed and crossed his beefy arms over his chest. "You a virgin?"

Can's jaws almost dropped to the floor. "I'm a what?"

"Virgin? Have you ever got taken from behind? Have you had any girl friend? Boy friend? Any knowledge of D/s?"

"Uhm... what, Karl?" Can turned to his friend. He was confused as hell. "What is he talking about?"

"Listen up kid," Mama said impatiently before Karl could speak. "I'm only ever entertaining this because one of our boys is sick. And we have a VIP later in the night. I'm just asking you if you've ever had experience with another man or something because I don't want you to go act all homophobic. This is a small exclusive party. All you have to do is walk around there and serve drinks. Our main five will be entertaining the guests. Just act as invisible as you could and then we could talk about teaching you."

"Uhm... I'll just serve drinks?"

"Yes. Yes. For now at least. We couldn't possibly throw you in a lifestyle you don't know about, could we?" the man flicked his wrist. "Karl, get him ready."

"Isn't that great?" Karl chimed in, steering Can into a door that Can didn't notice earlier. "I wasn't thinking Mama will put you in the VIPs. I thought you'd be in the middle tiers. You'd get devoured there in no time. VIPs are much better! Like more civilized."

Can's head was beginning to pound. Whoring in middle tiers, or low class or for the richest was still whoring. What the hell lifestyle was they even talking about?

"I don't think I'm made for this Karl."

Karl turned him around, squeezing his shoulders tight they almost hurt. "Can. You're already here. Give it a chance. You're just serving drinks tonight right? If you couldn't take what you'd see, then you can collect your payment and never come back here."

Can bit his bottom lip and exhaled.

"That's the spirit. Now you better get changed."

Karl was whirling around what seemed like his personal station. He threw pairs of white long sleeved shirts and dress pants Can's way. "Wear it. We're almost the same in size so it should work. You've got smaller feet but we'll make do. You cannot wear those sneakers there."

Seeing Karl was undressing right where he stood, Can decided to just follow along. After slipping on the pale pink silk dress shirt that was hanging like liquid on his frame, he stood in front of the mirror. He'd never worn such expensive things in his life.

"Hey, come here," Karl called with his hands outstretched. "We'd have to make that hair a little messier."

Can watched his friend and the man's excited aura bouncing off the wall in thick waves.

"Do you really enjoy doing this?"

"Of course," Karl replied with a nod. "I'm still fairly new. But the Dom I serve is very generous. Once in a while, like this, I still join the parties. We're in an open contract anyway. Besides, money is money."

"What..."

Karl winked. "I'm one of the main five that will do the entertaining."

"You're a main? Wait what contract- the Dom you serve?"

"Okay," Karl clapped, ignoring Can's question. "You're such a cutie pie Can! Now listen to me." Can cringed inwardly when Karl's voice dropped to something more serious. "You're a fill in for one of the regular servers. No matter what happens, never look a guest in the eyes. That's the number one rule. Always answer back politely if someone asks you, otherwise, you couldn't talk to anyone there."

"But Karl... I don't understand, am I supposed to just stare at the floor?"

"Good! You're getting the gist of it!"

Karl stepped closer to Can and smiled. It was the smile Can was familiar with. "Can, in there you can always say 'no'. So there is nothing to worry about. I'll explain to you what D/s is later but for now, we gotta earn that bread. Your family needs it."

"Okay..."

"Just act like you know what you're doing. Besides you've been in the diner for so long, serving drinks and foods should be easy-peasy for you. People in these parties assume you to be a professional. Don't give them ideas you're otherwise."

"People would think I'm a professional... whore?" he almost croaked. "I don't think-"

"No. Not a whore. A sub. Regardless, people assume the best of the best. To even serve drinks in parties like this one means you're a veteran."

"But I'm not a veteran. What is a sub anyway?"

"Can, that's why you just pretend you know what you're doing. Serve drinks. People will focus on the main entertainment anyway and that entertainment is me and the other four."

"Okay...?" Can brought his brows together. "I'm not sure I'm following all the things you're saying."

"If nothing else makes sense, money will. Trust me, it's going to be fun at least."

========================

He stared at the bleeding red in the horizon from the setting sun. The smog was visible, throwing dark smudges in the sky. And even with the blasting air-conditioning in his suite, he could still feel the heat against his skin. Thailand was really fucking hot and it was something from the bazillion many things he didn't miss about this country.

"Eight years huh..." Tin shook his head as he took a good swallow of bourbon from the glass in his hand. "Just passed by in the blink of an eye."

A small knock echoed through the immaculate marble floors of his room. "Come in," Tin said without turning back. An old man came in, slightly bowing before standing close behind him. "What is it?"

"Mr Tul is wanting to have a meeting with you. About a possible partnership and a loan."

With that, Tin's mouth pulled in a menacing smirk. "Wants to have a meeting with me? I don't think so."

"I will inform him right away."

"Thank you."

His old butler left, leaving Tin again in the shadows of the red setting sun. He ran his tongue against the top ridge of his upper teeth. Just thinking about his brother makes his blood boil. He exhaled and shook his head as he placed the glass down on a table. Heading for the shower, he one by one peeled his clothes. First his tie, then the top buttons of his shirt.

The situation wasn't the same anymore. He left with nothing and he came back with everything. He owned every single baht in his bank accounts that held billions. His business had morphed and was eating away little businesses in the same industry. He was a tycoon in his own right. The public just didn't know. What's even funnier was Tul and the rest of his family.

Tul Medthanan. The bastard that made his life such a living hell from his childhood, now asking for a loan? Perhaps Tul would shit bricks if he realized that Tin was the owner of Brizanine, Thailand's premiere group of companies that deal with almost about anything and everything. Infrastructure, telecommunications, health. It was almost hilarious. At least all the time Tin stayed in the west told him he was a money magnet. Everything he did yielded with such great results.

Heart didn't do him anything good. So he focused on what he was good at. And he was at the top now.

He was currently unbuckling his belt when his phone vibrated on his massive bed. He had no intention of answering but the name on the screen made him think otherwise. The man wasn't a friend. Tin didn't do friends. He was more like a business connection. He placed it on speaker.

"Hey my man. Welcome back."

"Thank you."

"We're having a little welcome party for you. We expect you at 10 at my residence."

Tin fought the urge to roll his eyes. "Your party bores me."

"Ouch," the voice from the other line chuckled. "This time it won't. Versalle is hosting. Best of the best escorts in Thailand. Besides, maybe one of the subs there would interest you."

Tin rubbed the bridge of his nose but eventually let out a chuckle. "Nothing held my interest back in the States. What would hold mine here?"

"I don't know, maybe love? Maybe an escort would catch your eye there," the man kidded.

Tin actually laughed out loud. He used escorts once in a while but he had no respect for them whatsoever. They're filthy.

"If they aren't at par with your tastes, at least show your mug and do some catching up."

Tin sighed. "Whatever. I may show up. I may not."

=====================

**chapter end notes:**

Thank you for reading!

_shuusetsu


	3. III

**III**

_"What... is going on?"_

His fingers were shaking. His knees were actually weak. As he held on to the tray, his grip unnaturally tight, Can tried to give his focus on the floor. Like what Karl had told him to do. But try as he might, it was hard not to steal glances. It was so hard when where he was at the moment felt like a world miles from his reality.

An hour ago, they were dropped behind a massive mansion, like little secrets that needed keeping from the rest of curious eyes. The sky was pitch black. Not even dark blue which just tightened Can's stomach all the more. It had been so hot lately he could feel the heavy rain that was about to fall down. Any minute, any moment now.

The heavy doors opened to a scene Can only thought possible in TVs and magazines. Monochromatic colors of black, gray, and white gleamed before his eyes. Fixtures, statues and a massive chest board in the middle gleamed silver underneath the muted overhead lights. In hushed silence, only the soles of their feet squeaking against the marble floors, Can forced himself to walk with his back straight. The faint sound of a classical music lingered in the air. It got louder, clearer, but not overwhelmingly so as they neared in front of a set of another carved door.

"Can," Karl called, nudging him by the shoulder. "Good luck."

Can turned to him with eyes wide. He didn't rely on his luck anymore. It had been shitty all these years. He just nodded, watching Karl turn to a different hall along with what he thought were the other four of the main entertainment.

He placed one foot in front of the other, feeling like he was going to be delivered to the guillotine. The other twenty servers, dressed in the exact way as him, looked nothing like what Can was feeling. They all looked young, calm, and actually... excited.

 _"It's because you're not familiar with this yet,"_ Can reasoned out. _"It's like any other job you've had. Nervous at the first day."_

If only this was just _another_ job.

They turned right, into a much dimmer hall and was led into a much narrower door. Tinkles of spoon, and glasses mingled with the classical music. The guys in front of Can immediately headed to the marble counters filled with wine glasses. Finger foods were on the opposite wall waiting to be served to the people on the other side of what supposed to be a massive, expansive room.

"Uhm..." Can started to the right guy beside him. Won't anyone give them anymore directions from there? He was confused. "What are these called?"

He pointed at the little sea-food looking mush in silver fancy tins. He couldn't be serving food he didn't know how to pronounce.

The guy smiled. His slightly glittery eyes glinting with amusement. "No one would ask you that kind of question here," was the quiet reply. "Just don't meet them in the eyes and if someone talks to you, it's always 'Sir'."

"But..."

"You're that friend of Karl?"

Can nodded.

"You're lucky. I tried to bring my friend in and Mama immediately shot down the idea. It's great money here."

Can bit his bottom lip and took one black tray from beneath the counter.

"I'm not sure if I'm going to do this for real..." he murmured more for himself than anything else.

"My same thoughts when I started. A lot of us though found the lifestyle actually soothing in many ways. This is where I realized I'm actually a sub. I don't do this just for money entirely. This is me." The guy lightly chuckled. "We're all excited to meet new Doms here. Parties like this one is a great opportunity. My contract with my Dom ended last week. Need a new one asap."

That again. With the lifestyle. And the sound of craving in his voice. Much like how Karl sounded. "What's a Dom?"

He's been hearing these things since earlier. Were these things an average person should know about? Was he just so busy the last years he'd stuck his head unknowingly under a rock? Especially now that he's got one foot into this unknown, he wanted to know. But the guy already turned his back around, leaving Can with no answer, carrying his own tray as he sashayed into the door leading to where the party was.

Can had no choice. He picked up his tray, balancing it on his right hand. Something he'd done in the diner for too long he could walk around it with his eyes closed. He then followed the last remaining guy. Off he went into a discreet door, and out he found himself in a standstill.

The room was covered in a thick sheet of darkness. The muted golden rays coming from the little yellow bulbs scattered on tables and floor set the area in a dreamy kind of state. Scent of smoke and expensive cologne mingled in the air. The murmured voices and contained chuckles filled over the music.

Can let out a sigh of relief. All of these things were messing with his head that the word 'entertainment' was painted so wrongly in his mind. He thought of dancing with next to nothing clothing. It was so far from that. There in the center was Karl, so focused on strumming his guitar in a melody that was mingling with the other four male's instruments. Piano, cello, violin, and saxophone. So it was the reason why the classical music vanished and was replaced by this beautiful jazz.

Just when he thought he was actually heading for a normal night, he nearly choked on his own breath.

"Get moving."

Can looked over his shoulder but only caught the silhouette of one of the servers already rounding the massive hall. Can swallowed hard and darted his vision to the floor. He did so, walking so slowly as he found his way around by way of his peripheral vision. He couldn't understand why he wasn't allowed to raise his gaze. But he followed the rules still.

 _"Don't meet the guests' eyes. Answer politely..."_ he chanted inside his head.

A chant that completely went out the window in a manner of seconds.

There on the floor was a guy. Kneeling or sitting on a pillow somehow. Slender and beautiful, his hair was falling softly on his face. There was a peaceful, blissful kind of expression on him. He looked so content and oh so free. Yet that wasn't what made Can halt. It was the hand of an older man, caressing the former's hair, almost absently. Like he was petting his beloved pet. Like what the man was doing was second nature. Something that didn't need thinking about.

"What... what are they doing...?"

As if the shock of that wasn't enough, another passed by Can. A pair so different in size yet the bigger man was in a leash, getting pulled by a bored looking man. No one paid attention to them as if this was so normal. Was it?

Can peeled his gaze from the kissing, groping and touching that he soon realized was going on. They were far from downright scandalous but to Can this was already too much. Albeit the sweat forming on his skin, he forced himself on doing his job. But why was the guy on the floor kneeling and the man affectionately petting him made Can itch? The image was seared in his brain.

Biting his lower lip, Can let out a deep breath. _"Dom... sub..."_

And then something clicked.

How was he so slow he'll never know. He'd heard of this before. A Dominant with his sub. A pair with power exchange. Lay had been babbling about this for a while. But Can thought it was just one of those exaggerated BL dynamics his sister was so obsessed about.

He almost laughed out loud if not for a shadow appearing in front of him. He nearly met the stranger's gaze but caught himself just in time. He waited for the man to get a drink off his tray. But the shadow just stood there like a massive wall. He waited a few more seconds. When nothing happened, Can began to sidestep. The shadow mimicked him.

"Uhm... excuse me Sir."

"You're not excused."

Can abruptly looked up, there meeting a kind smiling face. The dark eyes staring at him were calm, so much quiet like dark pools in the night. An amused brow was then raised and Can quickly averted his gaze. "I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about," said the stranger in a whisper. It sent goosebumps all over Can's arms and neck. "New ones make mistakes here and there. Especially if it's their first time."

Can looked at their feet, noticing how the pair of expensive leather shoes was so much closer to his than earlier.

"Thank you," Can replied, stepping back a little. "If you'll excuse me, I need to—"

"Wait."

Can didn't know what was with this stranger but the hint of command in that quiet voice made him halt.

"Would you be interested in a chat? Later after your work I mean."

"No." It quickly escaped Can's lips, he didn't even think about it. "I'm sorry. I've uhm..." Can drew a breath and where the lie came from he didn't know. There was just something odd with this man he didn't like. The man's smile was kind in the dim lighting yet his eyes were making Can's insides so cold. "I've already agreed to talk someone, later. Sir." He added for good measure.

The man chuckled, inserting his hands inside the pockets of his trousers. "I see. May I at least know your name?"

"Can... Sir."

"Can," the other man repeated. "Nice to meet you. Hope to meet you somewhere else. And if you didn't find the possible contract with this person satisfying, you can go to me." The man stepped closer again, sliding a card into Can's breast pocket. "Give me a call anytime. I can adjust anything for you, Can."

He watched the stranger go and in that Can began to release the breath he'd been holding. That man sent the hair on his neck standing and it just wasn't a good feeling.

He circled the hall again and finally found his sort of rhythm. Once he found it, it was actually easier and the amount of finger foods on his tray all disappeared.

"What did that man say to you?" was the question right at his ear when he entered back where the food was. "Tell me you said 'no'."

With a raised brow, Can turned to Karl. "What's the matter?"

"That guy you were talking to earlier? He's a sadist. An extreme one. I almost stopped my guitar playing when I saw you with him. If I were you, I'd stay away from him."

"I said no."

"Be careful still. He singled you out. That's not a good news."

"I thought places like this, there has to be consensus?"

"Yeah. But not to that guy. He's as rich as hell. He is hell. So that's just a word of advice."

Can snorted as he released a few of the top buttons of his shirt. He's finally due for a break and his bladder was already screaming at him angrily. "I'm fine. Thanks."

Karl narrowed his large eyes as if he had something more to say but just exhaled. "How's the serving going?"

"I'm starting to like it." He replied. And it was the truth.

The other man straightened his shirt and smiled. "Good. I have to go back my break's almost over. Talk to you later?"

"Yeah— oh wait. Where's the nearest rest room, aside from the one here?"

Karl frowned. "From that door, turn straight to the first hall. It's on that side, at the end."

"'K thanks. I'm going to explode."

"Can't you hold it in? Or find someone to go with you."

"I'm not six years old."

Karl shook his head. "Hurry up and don't go prancing around anywhere else."

Can didn't wait for Karl to tell him something else stupid. He turned around and jogged to the door they came in from. He eyed the rest room in that hall longingly, but it was reserved for guests only. After closing the narrow door, he recited directions in his head and no later found himself in his destination.

The intricate and lavish interior of the restroom was lost to Can as he did his business. He hurriedly washed his hands, dried them and off he went out. Only to see the stranger again heading to his direction.

Despite his nonchalance with Karl's warning, he for himself didn't like this particular man. He turned, knowing he was so obvious. But he walked, his shoes squeaking against the immaculate tiles. Why was he even running away from the man he didn't know. It probably was his instinct going.

"Why am I running?" Can gritted. If push came to shove, he could probably just punch the guy. But he remembered Karl. How would it look that the guy Karl brought punched a guest? Can knew it wouldn't be good. And he didn't want to cause trouble to Karl who've always tried to help him even though in weird ways.

Can swallowed when he heard the echo of footsteps behind him. It was a lot faster, closer. That man was really chasing after him after all. He didn't dare to look behind.

In the silence pounding in his head, the party seemingly miles away, his eyes zeroed in on a particular door. He threw caution to the wind, pulled the gold lion's head knob open and went inside. He hadn't even turned to look into the room but he instantly froze with what he heard next. It sounded so familiar yet so different.

"You're late." Said a disapproving voice so cold and distant. "Hurry up and strip."

=======================================

One look at the party hall and he knew he should have stayed in his suite. How many times had he seen this scene already? He was sick of this dark halls and golden lights, trying to mask something so vulgar with fake romanticism.

Tin shook his head, tucked his hands inside his black pants and began walking away.

"Oooh... not so fast bastard!"

He looked over his shoulder and saw his 'friend' Gabe smiling merrily at him. Maybe this guy did consider him as friend. But when you lent someone with millions with low interest rates, anyone would think of him as a god.

"Your parties are such a bore. One look and I know it's crap."

The other laughed. "As straight forward as always."

He stared down at Gabe. He really wasn't in a pleasant mood from the travelling fatigue and the sourness just by the earlier mention of his brother.

"Man, you're so grumpy every time I see you," Gabe chided. "What's the point of wealth if that frown is perpetually forever on your forehead?"

Tin just stared. He knew Gabe's childish ways, having had to save the man's ass more times when Gabe lost millions in Las Vegas back then, the idiot. "I came. I'm done."

"Oh. You came alright. But not the right kind of coming. And that's what we're going to fix right now."

Tin snorted. "And your jokes are still so terrible."

"Come on. I've personally booked you the number one at Versalle. He'll take care of you no matter how you like."

He felt his jaws working already. He didn't like paid subs. Never did. Never will. But he wouldn't also reject release if it was already served to him on a platter.

"You can even make a contract with him if you found him satisfying. I heard he's looking for a more permanent Dom this time around."

"Permanent Dom?" Tin said allowing his sarcasm drip all over the words.

"Yeah. That's a thing. I see you still don't accept that. It's true though. Look at me and my sub. It's not just that power exchange... we actually love each other. You know last time we—"

"Will using your paid sub shut you the hell up?" he cut in.

Gabe grinned. "Sure will!"  
_____________

And that was why he was there. In this overly stuffed room. It was like an over depiction of love houses in a Parisian set up and he wondered if this was Gabe's idea or his sub's idea. Tin snorted. Maybe those two were really meant to be together considering both have really weird crappy tastes.

He sat at a massive red wing-chair facing the windows where the rain had begun to already pick up. There wasn't much to look at but he found peace in the drops of rain sliding down the glass of the windows.

He silently stared at the glide of drops, thinking that perhaps he really was more bored than he was admitting. He was there, wasn't he? He was even entertaining Gabe's weirdness. If that wasn't saying something, Tin didn't know what.

He kept his eyes at the darkness outside, all too aware of the massive antique clock behind him. The reflection was so visible through the glass windows. He wasn't so much expecting anything from Versalles at all. If nothing sparked interest back in the United States, he doubted anything would here. But he at least expected respect to his time.

While the rain was soothing, he wasn't here to wait forever. This particular sub could be riling him on purpose. Or was plain stupid. Some subs thought challenging a Dom for a possible punishment was cute. He found it annoying.

As if his irritation summoned the subject of his growing impatience, he heard the sound of an abruptly opened and closed door behind him. He didn't bother looking as he began removing his cuffs.

"You're late," Tin said in the voice that let anyone know he wasn't in the mood for fooling around. "Hurry up and strip."

When a few seconds passed and not even a single sound or rustle came, Tin swiveled his chair to face the door. And there he found the face he'd forgotten.

Or so he thought.

=================================

Chapter end notes:

Thanks for reading. See you next chapter.

Also disclaimer. I've read a lot of things about BDSM and the lifestyle anyone could ever read and research. While I'll stick to the closer reality, I also want to emphasize I would exaggerate some points in the near future. (insert laughter here)

\---shuusetsu


	4. IV

**IV**

_Can...?'_

But the name was stuck in Tin's throat as he swallowed the word.

There were so many unexpected things he'd encountered in his life. So many he was pretty sure he was already an expert at handling them. He wouldn't have survived the world of predators without becoming one after all. But as he stared at that face, the only thing anchoring him from falling in a fit of rage was the very seat he was sitting on.

He didn't speak. He didn't move. He just stared at the nightmare he'd fought hard to wake up from. And years after successfully doing just that, why the fuck was he here again staring at him with those gaze?

A maelstrom of things were within him. Things he couldn't even begin to explain.

The Thai Program he used to know had become like this. How Can looked so thin and even frail now. It was as though he could break him with his own hands if Tin wanted to. How this guy was wearing the same clothes as all those filthy subs were wearing. How Can was looking at him like this man was so happy to see him.

But whatever compassion Tin would have felt before, he felt none now. Not even a drop. His insides were a cold hell as he pinned Can with his gaze. And the waver and the lost look on Can's face made Tin smile.

Satisfaction. That's what it was.

"I... uhm..." the bobble on that Adam's apple was so obvious, Tin had the sudden urge to wrap his hands around them. "How... how have you been?" Can stuttered.

"Been very well," Tin replied as he crossed his legs. "How are you?"

"I've been good as well," Can said, animation going back on his face. "I didn't know I'd meet you here how—"

"So you're working in Versalles now?" he asked as he ran his gaze from Can's head to the man's feet and back up to that baby face. Can had really become thinner but his shoulders were still proportionate to his trim waist. His hair still looked soft to the touch. Those lips still as plump as he remembered them to be. He wouldn't be surprised if people actually vied for this type. It was sort of popular even back in the States.

Shock was obvious on Can's face as though he'd forgotten something. "No— the truth is it's kinda—"

Before Can could finish whatever he was about so say, a soft knock cut in between them. It was such a soft careful sound but the contrast in the heavy silence of the room made it so like someone slammed a gavel between them.

Can looked over his shoulder, about to reach the knob.

"Don't open it," Tin said, hinting warning in his voice.

Can flinched. Black eyes turned to Tin.

"What I especially don't like is getting interrupted in the middle of a conversation."

Another round of knocking came, this time more hurried. But Tin remained staring at Can, ignoring the sound. When finally the knocking stopped, Tin uncrossed his legs.

"So, you were saying? I wouldn't have thought you working for a specialized escort services at all... you were so adamant about me giving you gifts back then, and here you are. I find it really... interesting."

Can stepped forward. "There's a huge misunderstanding here, alright? I'm not..."

"But you're working for Versalles, are you not?"

"I..." Can exhaled like he was lost himself. "I am. But it's just—"

"Well then," Tin smiled. "Hurry up and strip."

Can's eyes widened. "What?"

"Do your job. Or can't you even do that?"

"Tin, I am not an escort, a-a sub or whatever you rich people call it okay?"

Tin raised a brow. "You wouldn't fool anyone with your clothes, hiding almost nothing."

Can quickly looked down and as if only realizing three were unbuttoned, his chest exposed open, he grabbed the open top of his shirt together and glared at Tin. "It's not like that," Can whispered.

"You know what? I've learned to trust only two things," he said as he stood from his chair. He began walking towards Can. He relished the way the other seemed to want to run. "My eyes. And money."

"...?"

"You're here to be someone's toy and in return get money right?"

A flash of anger passed on Can's face. His hands were balled into tight fists and Tin nodded towards them.

"Want to hit me? Go ahead."

Can stepped back, disbelief in his eyes. "W-who are you?"

Tin laughed. "What kind of question is that?"

Shaking his head, Can took another step back. "The Tin I know is many things. But he's never this despicable!"

Tin moved forward. Can stepped back.

"I guess you never really knew me."

He kept invading Can's space until the latter's back hit the door. It was weird how he was suddenly enjoying this cat-mouse game. He reached out. Can's bated breath was palpable in the silence. Tin just smirked as he moved his hand towards Can's breast pocket, pulling the matte gold card out of its confines.

He narrowed his eyes at the card. Sun Samalaya, a formidable businessman. A man like that in a gathering such as this. But then again Tin wasn't so surprised. People in power had so many ways in releasing their stress and filling in their boredom.

"Garnering attentions from the elites right away, I see," Tin said as he placed the card back into Can's breast pocket. He reached for his own black card he'd tossed on the dresser beside the door. The card he didn't think he'd even use. He did so without taking his gaze off Can's angry ones. Waving said card in the air once, he then stuck it into Can's pocket too. The contrast of his black card to the gold so obvious. "Call me if you want to make a deal. I'm all open to what you can offer."

"H-how can you talk like buying me is so easy? We used to know each other!"

"And the operating words are 'we used to know each other'. Right now, you're just a stranger to me."

"Stop looking down on me," Can gritted. "So what if I work here? Don't talk as if everyone here is so dirty and you're not. You're using said escorts after all."

Tin smiled and gently patted Can's cheek. The skin was still so soft to his touch. "I'm not the one doing this for money. Am I?"

The other slapped his hand away. The redness that began in Can's eyes pinched at Tin. Just slightly. For a millisecond. Before grudge took over and the cold hell he'd made for himself surfaced again.

=a=a=a=a=a=a=a=a

Can didn't know how he managed the rest of the night. He never came back to the party. Never even looked back as he ran out of the massive mansion which felt so close to a coffin every second of his breath as he tried to escape.

The matte gold and the black cards in the breast pocket of his shirt was hot against his skin. As though drilling a hole from the expensive sultry fabric to his flesh. It seared so much. Like he was branded. As a whore by a weird stranger. As a lowly dirt by Tin.

There wasn't any cab within the expensive neighborhood and he didn't know how long he walked until he reached the bus stop. His feet felt full of blisters from the unfamiliar expensive dress shoes. His phone vibrating nonstop against his leg.

He knew it was Karl. But he didn't have the energy or even the mind to talk to anybody. He just found himself circling the familiar view of the hospital parking lot. Cars came in and went. Red lights burned at the back of his head.

For some reason, as walked around the lot, he felt like such a failure.

He stared at one of the windows from the hospital building. That pastel pink with piglet prints against the other normal blue ones from the neighboring rooms. Can began to bitterly laugh. He couldn't even get his sister a room that wasn't facing a gray gloomy parking lot because the other rooms were so pricey. Even hospitals showed the discrimination to those with money and to those who didn't.

His phone began to vibrate again. And this time he answered without looking at the screen.

"Where the hell are you?" Karl shouted.

"I'm sorry for causing you trouble Karl," he replied tiredly.

"Answer the question idiot."

"I'm at the hospital, waiting for the start of the visiting hours..." Can stared at his reflection against one of the car windows in the lot. Looking at himself without the nerves of a new job, he could right now see why Tin said all those words. He did look like a freaking slut. "Maybe I should go home and change first..."

There was a very distinct sigh of relief from Karl. "You should have answered my calls! I thought you were already captured by some sadistic prick. I was the one who brought you there in the first place. Don't you know how worried I was!?"

"I'm sorry Karl..." he mumbled. And for some reason, it came out shaky. And before he knew it, the burn in his eyes he'd been holding grew into so much more he lost it. Tears pricked his eyes and he quickly looked up the still dark skies to stop them. "I was just... a mess last night. I'm sorry for causing trouble..."

"Shut up. First of all, no one complained about you."

Can snorted. "Should I be proud?"

"Damn right you should." Karl's voice went softer. "Was your experience last night bad? I wouldn't hold it against you. You can pick your payment for last night at Mama's office anytime."

"I can't think yet Karl," Can confessed. "Something happened and I just... need to think."

Karl exhaled loudly followed by a yawn. "Okay. Well, call me when you've decided. I just got home and I'm dead tired. I'll drop by to visit Lay later but I'll need to sleep first."

"Karl...?"

"Hmmm?"

"Did you find a Dom?"

"I did." The smile was so obvious in his friend's voice.

"Good for you."

"Thanks. Talk to you later."

The call ended and again, the quiet fell over Can's shoulders.

When his knees began to hurt and his blisters were already too much to walk on, he sat down on the empty sidewalk. The cards against his chest kept poking on his skin. He pulled them out and staring at them he did.

Sun Samalaya. Tin Medthanan. Their names blurred into the numbers of their due rent. Into the enumeration of their growing debts. Into the thousands of kilometers they could send Lay to the UK. Into the ease of the worry lines on his mom's face if they didn't have to worry where they'd get money to survive next.

He didn't like that Sun Samalaya. But him and Tin were just the same. Funny he couldn't bring himself to get fully angry at Tin. He was so happy to see him.

"But what a tragic reunion it had been," he whispered.

His hand tightened around the calling cards. Instead of them crumpling in his hold, the sharp edges of the cards only poked and almost pierced his skin. He buried his face on his knees.

What was worse was that he didn't even have the strength to throw the cards away. Those cards for some reason shamefully felt like a lifeline.

He refused to cry but lost.

=a=a=a=a=a=a=a=a=a=a=a=a=

"I wanted to punch him," Can whispered as he stared at the opposite white wall. "I really want to. But I couldn't."

"What?" Lay who was so absorbed with squinting at the manga pages of her BL paused, eyeing her brother with a frown. "Why didn't you? You usually don't care."

Can exhaled, the laugh escaping his lips sounded sad even to his ears. "I was hurt..." _By his words. The way he looked at me. Like I was so small in his eyes..._ "But it seems like I hurt him more... in the past."

"Past it past though, right?"

"That person is kinda different. They remember every single thing." _Maybe even only remembers the ugly ones..._

Lemon closed her book and squinted again. She does that more often than not these days. "I guess your stupid self did something back then. I won't say 'poor you'. I won't."

"Shouldn't you be consoling your brother or something?"

"What should I say?" Lemon groused, an expression so mature of her Can rarely saw flashed on her pale face. "How long is this 'past' anyway? That person? You must be so much important for them back then to hold this grudge even after all these years. What did you even do?"

Can pursed his lips. "More like, what I didn't. I was so confused back then... maybe... I left them when they needed me the most?"

"Can't you guys mend it now? Life is short."

He turned to his sister, his chest tightening. He hated it when Lay talked like this. But his sister was back to squinting at her BL again.

"Lay..."

"What?" she said impatiently.

"If I for example... it's just hypothetical situation okay? If I—"

Lay raised a brow at him, a sneer on her face. "Spell hypothetical."

Can play-punched his sister on the arm. "Shut up."

The young woman chuckled. "Go on. Before mom hears you and asks you the same thing."

"Is it stupid if I want to please this said person? Like..." Can groped for words. "Like, would it be stupid of me if I lowered myself so far down just so I could make it up to them?"

There was a very long moment of silence wherein Lay just stared at him. She was his sister, his blood, his best friend. In her quiet gaze, he could tell she was thinking. Sensing.

"Will you be happy if you do that?" Lemon asked, her voice soft and uncharacteristically gentle. "You were always big on pride..."

"I'd be happy if I could return the way we used to be," he admitted. "If I agreed to that person's demands, you think they'd realize how sincere and sorry I was for what happened? Maybe it'll fix things? Maybe it could be a start at least? I think..."

"You think? You are never good at thinking."

Can frowned. "I'm being serious here."

Lay looked away. She began flipping mindlessly at her manga but her mind was obviously not into it. "That sounds like it'd hurt you know."

"..."

"Are you up for that? Getting hurt I mean? That person may not forgive you at all. Hurt you even."

"...I know I want to try."

"Then why are you asking me?" Lay mumbled. "You already made up your decision for your so-called _hypothetical situation_."

Can sunk lower into his seat, gazing into the early morning sky through the closed windows. "You won't ask me who it is?" he asked. Lay would have pestered him for this kind of information.

His sister shook her head, not looking at him. "I just wish you and that person fix whatever broke between you two. You looked happy back then." Lay stole a knowing glance at him. Can felt a shiver ran down his spine. "He's back right?"

"What..."

"It was all over the news."

Can could only just nod. No point in denying. "Why won't you say his name if you already know who I'm talking about?"

Lay snorted. "Because I decided it taboo! You cried when he just vanished. I don't want to hear or see you cry again. Your room was beside mine. Thought I wouldn't hear you through those paper-thin walls?"

Can looked away.

"At least you got to come out to mom and me and Gucci after that. Remember the rainbow stickers?"

Can fought the urge to smile but failed. "Shut up. You even put PRIDE stickers inside my mug did you want me to choke with them?"

Lay laughed. "But it's so funny. Mom was like 'oh you're gay, so what, okay next'. I need to do all the overreacting!"

"You weren't happy though when I said I might be gay."

"Who would?" she said with a disgusted look on her face. "You broke my BL fantasies. I want my bottoms to be pretty and cute. You're not."

"Excuse me? I happen to have someone confessing to me nonstop—" Can's smiled faded. "Had someone I mean."

Can was surprised at the light touch on his shoulder. He looked up, meeting his sister's honey-colored eyes. She squeezed him gently and somehow, a lump began forming in his throat.

"I'm sorry Can. I was one of the reasons you were so confused back then."

"Don't..."

"You loved him even before knowing it."

Can just shrugged.

 

Damn it. He did.

 

And still do.

=a=a=a=a=a=a=a

Chapter end notes:

Thank you for reading. See you next chapter.

-shuusetsu

Also the video below is one of my faves! There are tons of fanmade videos out there already but this one is still my number one. It actually made me teary! lol The one who made it captured my fave scenes, the cute, the sweet and the painful ones. T_T


	5. V

 

He fidgeted on the massive single's black sofa. It was too soft for his liking he felt like it was swallowing him up. And with his nerves at the moment, it surely wasn't helping.

The sound of the door behind him almost made Can jump. He looked over his shoulder and was met by the sour looking face of Versalles' Mama. The mountain of a man had never shown a smile since Can met him. It was making him more nervous.

"Oh you're here. I thought you'll never get your check from last night," said the man as he closed the door behind him. The man motioned for the desk close to where Can was sitting. "How was your experience? Karl told me you said it was okay. But what is 'okay'? 'Okay but I don't want in it ever again'. Or 'okay I am game for it'?"

"Uhm," Can straightened on his seat, feeling under dressed again with his t shirt and jeans compared to the man's suit. "There are a lot of things I don't know yet. So... I can't really... tell."

The man laced his fingers on his dark desk. "I can hear the 'but'."

"But I need money. My family, my sister--"

"Honey, 80% of the subs affiliated in Versalles need money. The 20% are those rare few who really love the lifestyle." The Mama smiled slightly. Can was caught off guard. This man was beautiful if he would only smile more. "The minute I saw you with Karl, I knew you need money. No offense intended."

Can pursed his lips and waited. He had nothing else to say as this man seemed to be good at reading him.

"Well? You have a question in mind. Spill."

He swallowed the thickness in his throat and moved at the edge of his seat. "Uhm. Can I... can I borrow money from you? And then I'll work for you no matter how long it takes for me to pay? Uhm... as a server, a cleaner, I'm really good at hard labor!"

The crack in Can's voice made him wince. He sounded as nervous as he felt compared to how he practiced it hours before.

The man before Can knitted his brows and sighed. "I'm afraid you can't. This is a business first and foremost Can. As much as I wanted this to be a helpful place for those who are in need, nothing is as easy as nothing is free."

Can's gaze went to his lap as his shoulders dropped.

"Listen to me."

Can looked up.

"When a Dom makes a contract with our subs, Versalles get a payment. That is fixed, nothing more and nothing less. However, between the Dom and the sub, the sub can ask anything. A-ny-thing," the Mama repeated more slowly as if for emphasis, "Anything and whatever the sub desires from the Dom. As long as the sub pleases the former that is. There's no reason for the Dom to decline."

Can bit his bottom lip. He didn't want to sound so ignorant and offend. But he was really ignorant.

"Doesn't this sound like master and slave?"

The Mama chuckled softly. "Kinda. It depends on the Dom and sub after all how deep in the lifestyle they want to be. But let me tell you something that might surprise you."

"..."

"The Dom is the dominant in the relationship but keep in mind the sub is the one that still holds the power in the relationship."

Can felt the slow cogs in his brain grow even slower.

The man in front of him slightly shook his head. "As much as the Dom can direct the sub, the second the sub says the safe word, everything stops. That's the gist of it. Vague, yes but one usually understand it more when they're already inside the relationship."

Can felt as dumb as he looked.

"I will ask you a few questions. I want you to answer them honestly."

Can nodded.

"I want you to answer them honestly." The man repeated, his voice much harsher, much colder. As though the man had slipped into some other character. Immediately Can's spine straightened, his attention directly focused on the older man separated only by a desk. "What will you say?"

"Y-yes Sir."

"Good." The man leaned more comfortably against his chair's back rest. "Have you ever been in a relationship? Not necessarily a romantic one or a D/s one. Just think of someone."

Squirming on his seat, Can lowered his gaze at the man's chest, not meeting the man's gaze as he was told time and time and again by Karl.

"I guess, you could say I was in a weird relationship but it was a long time ago. I don't even know what our relationship was, Sir."

The other man nodded. "How was it?"

"How was it?" Can repeated unsure of what to say. "Uhm... the... the person I was with always want to get their way. They ask for my time. My attention. Sometimes it was uncomfortable for me. But I... I guess I end up succumbing to their wants in the end, Sir."

Can could tell by the sound of the Mama's voice that he was smiling. "Why is that?"

The thought made all the hairs on Can's nape stand on end. He complained about Tin being so controlling and like a baby back then but at the end of the day, he always went along because...

"Because I feel happy when they're happy."

There was a long silence. The ticking clock by the wall sounded louder by the second and Can was getting worried he said something wrong or something he shouldn't have. Finally, Mama started pulling a drawer from under his desk, a sound of paper rustling followed next.

The man laid out two folders in front of Can. Can squinted at the black shiny surfaces before looking back down at his lap.

"You can look at me now."

Slowly Can did as he was told. The man's face was still sharp and cold but there was a distinct difference. Like a teacher who was trying to be friendly but keeping boundaries.

"I understand this world is way different from what you're used to. Usually, prospective subs undergo a lot of training from our in house Doms—"

"In house Doms?"

"Of course. We get clients who ask for subs. We also get clients who want a Dom."

"Okay... sorry for interrupting."

"Alright," the man sighed as if he was conflicted himself. He shook his head once. "As I was saying, newbies get a training. They live with an in house Dom for a few weeks so they know the etiquette, the ways and concepts. But you. You need money asap. If you're brave enough to learn as you go along the way, then tell me now. Before I change my mind. I'm putting Versalle's name on the line for you and I don't _ever_ do that."

Can swallowed as he gaped at the man before him. He tried thinking over and over about it but was still not at the point he could out rightly say yes or no.

Or should he just not think about it at all and leave it to chance?

This snap decision was going to burn him someday. He could feel that. He could feel whispers on his skin already. But he grabbed the armrests of his chair and met the other's firm gaze.

"I'm... I'm willing."

The other man pushed the two folders to Can's direction. "I'm cutting to the chase. I'm surprised two have already requested for you. Sun Samalaya. Tin Medthanan. They both have expressed  they don't care by you being untrained and new to the lifestyle. Do you know them?"

Can felt the rock in his throat he thought had already dissolved coming back. "Uhm. Yes. I've met Sun Samalaya at the event. He-he gave me his card. Also... Tin. I know him. Err..." Can shook his head. "I knew him."

Mama clasped his hands and regarded Can with a silent gaze. "Both are very generous. I assure you which of them you make a contract with, they'd give anything you want. But they have different demands that I want you to know now."

Can felt coldness envelope him.

"The deal with both of these men. It involves sexual relationship. So I don't want to hear complaints that you don't know what you're getting yourself into."

Can just stared like a deer in front of headlights.

"Firstly, Sun Samalaya finds pleasure in inflicting pain in his subs. Of course if the sub finds pleasure in that, by all means. But he's extreme with records of not listening to his subs at all. I don't think he's the right fit for you at the moment but he's expressed utter want for you that I need to mention this. For your own decisions," the man narrowed his eyes as he added, "for your safety as well. What he wants he gets. And no one could tell if him setting his eyes on you is a blessing or a disaster. I don't want to scare you. But that's the reality of the situation. People with money can do anything." Mama smiled, but he looked terrifying. "That's why I couldn't ban him even if I want to. He's got ties with the owners of Versalles. What can a mere manager as myself do?"

Can didn't know what to think.

"Secondly. Tin Medthanan." The butterflies in Can's stomach had morphed into chaos. He was nervous just hearing the man's name. "He's always been out of the country so we don't know much about him. He's just recently joined with a vouch from one of our trusted clients. I called the clubs he was a member of in the States and there is no complaints whatsoever."

"..."

"His demands are much simple. Firstly. He touches you. You can't touch him."

Can was about to ask what that meant but the other raised his huge hand to stop him. "Let me finish first."

"Sorry."

"Secondly. He doesn't demand you to live with him 24/7. You can still have a life of your own but he wants exclusivity. No other partners on the sides."

"..."

"Lastly. He offers a one year contract. He never extends. He never repeats."

"One year?"

"It all goes without saying that there is a nondisclosure contract included in things like these. Whatever you'll find out in the client's lives, you will keep until your grave. Otherwise, you're early digging your own grave."

"..."

Mama straightened. "So which one?"

"What?"

"Who do you prefer?" Mama pointed at the first folder. "This is Sun Samalaya's complete offer." The man pointed at the next. "And this is Tin Medthanan's. I could understand that maybe saying it out loud is hard. So you go pick which folder instead."

Can stared at the two folders alternatingly. A part of himself was drawn to Sun. Simply because the man was a stranger and he felt a different kind of relief to be serving this guy without the conflicts of his own emotions and heart.

His finger tapped the corner of the second folder though. Tin's.

"Well then, read the whole offer. Then I'll inform him."

Can pulled his finger as if he was burned. "No. I accept already."

"That's not such a wise decision."

"I'm afraid I'd change my mind and make a much not wiser decision."

The Mama of Versalles stared at him for so long that Can began to feel uncomfortable. "You're entering in this because of money, yes?"

"Yes..."

The frown on the Mama's face was evident. He could probably smell Can's lie. Can just didn't want money. There were other things he wanted to know out of everything concerning Tin he won't tell anyone.

With a quirk of his mouth, the Mama opened the folder, held out a pen to Can then said, "Then I wish you get something more than just money."

=====================a-

Tin was staring at the changing numbers on his screen. The greens were increasing ever into higher almost unimaginable amounts. There was a weird sense of gratification when he sees his ventures doing so well and no one even knew who he was. His room was drenched yet again in the hue of the setting sun. Food on his side for lunch was still untouched.

His family had been calling him nonstop. But he had no family anymore. At least to him they were just people he knew. His father's business wasn't doing very well. What with how they keep holding on to ancient ways when everything has changed from almost ten years ago. What was more was Tul Medthanan's business too was just on the verge of tipping. What keeps him afloat were pretenses that nothing was amiss in their conglomerate.

A lopsided grin formed on Tin's lips. He was slowly, inch by inch buying them out without them knowing. He'd like to see their faces when they come meet the new owner.

He answered more work related emails and made short international calls for his other businesses. When the red hue coming from the glass walls had turned into a dusky blue, his room in a shade darker, he closed his laptop and darted to the dark brown envelope to his left. It had been calling to him the entire day and sheer will allowed him to keep his hand off of it.

_"Get me every detail there is about him."_

And with his old right-hand man knowing right away who he was talking about, the old man left. And he came back with this envelope containing a summary of Can's life for the past eight years.

Tin toyed with the envelope with the envelope cutter. Rolling his tongue against the top ridge of his upper teeth, he just stared at it. Until his phone next to his laptop vibrated.

He picked it up, swiped to answer without speaking. A few seconds of listening, he then nodded, pleased with what he was hearing.

"Okay. Thanks for letting me know."

He placed his phone back down and picked the envelope next.

Without any preamble, without reading the contents inside, he tore the envelope into two with such ease. As though a premonition of how easy it would be for him to break anyone, any person, or Can, for that matter.

"Don't need unnecessary stuff to play with you."

He stood and threw the shredded information into the bin under his table and made his way for the shower.

"See you soon... Can."

=a=a=a=a=a=a=a=a=a=a=a=a=a=a=a=a

**Chapter end notes:**

Thanks for reading! okay! see you next chapter!

-shuusetsu

GUYS, i rarely update here in AO3, I do when I feel like it, however this story is ongoing and has more chapters in wattpad so if you'd like to read more, please head on there. Thank you. :D 


	6. VI

       

 

_"How soon can we send my sister to the UK?"_

The pent house as his destination, Can stared at the blinking elevator numbers in front of him. It was going down so fast from the 48th floor and as he watched, it felt as though his heart was sinking along with the red digits.

_"As soon as you have the money, we can arrange it right away."_  The balding doctor sympathetically pursed his lips before noting down something on his planner.  _"You'll be sending your Mom with her, right? You'll be alone for a long time."_

_"I still have Gucci. And... well... I have to earn a living."_

The doctor knitted his brows obviously wondering. He's one of the few strangers-turned-friends who did express their concerns over the shithole that was his life. This old man knew how hard Can was scraping and juggling jobs he'd warned Can about his health a time or two.

_"Where will you get the money Can?"_ the doctor asked gently.  _"Three million plus miscellaneous don't just drop from the sky."_

The sound of a sharp 'ding' bounced off the immaculate tiles surrounding him. He was the only soul in that hall, floor, walls and chandeliers gleaming in gold. His breathing so loud compared to the deafening silence.

Doors opening, Can stepped inside, pressing the only number available on the stainless pad.

"In here," he murmured as he held on tighter to the envelope already stained by the sweat of his palm.

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He was only standing still. Feet close together, eyes fixed at his muted reflection against the stainless doors. He was only there, not doing anything yet the pounding in his chest was about to make him throw up. He forced himself to look at the numbers, count them, actually read them. But only a blotch of blinking red registered in his brain.

_"A monthly 75,000 baht will be deposited in an account made for you until the contract expires."_

Can exhaled, the envelope in his hand starting to get crumpled. When he read the offer after getting back home yesterday, he felt lower and lower, smaller and totally hopeless. No matter how much he tried looking at it in a positive light, he still felt ashamed. Somehow... pathetic. A whore.

_"Requests are free to be made and could be given in the form of exchanges and rewards."_

Can didn't realize that the doors had already opened. He blinked twice and thrice before stepping out into a pure white hall as though he'd stepped in a dimension where time didn't exist. So empty, so clean, so devoid of any life except a massive mahogany door at the center.

Inhaling, he straightened his shirt and brushed his fingers through his hair. He forced a smile. Fake it till you feel it. His motto not really working at the moment.

He began making his way to the door, his sneakers squeaking so loudly against the sparkling floor. Can again pulled the corners of his lips up. "You can do this. Mom will be relieved of worries. Lay would get surgery."

_"It's not going to fix everything but it's a start,"_ he continued consoling himself. _"Come on Can, it's just Tin."_

And that right there, was the biggest deal.

He stopped right before he reached the door. He swiped fast at his left cheek. His fingers came down cold and glistening.

Can released an exasperated soft laugh before rubbing his face against the right sleeve of his shirt. "Idiot. Tearing up already? Why are you crying, nothing has happened yet..." he scolded himself. "You'll get used to this. You have to."

And besides, he was holding on to the hope that along the way, even if they couldn't fix things, he hoped they could mend them a little. They couldn't go back to the way they used to be but at least... be friends? Was that possible in this give and take situation?

Can almost laughed aloud. The more he thought about it the more absurd things got.

He fanned his face with the envelope until he felt the hotness on his skin melt away. Once he felt he was back to the most presentable he could be, he raised his hand and reached for the button on the side.

"It's alright... it's alright..." he chanted under his breath as he waited. The envelope he was holding in his hand was still shaking though. "It's alright. It's alri—"

And then the door opened wide, revealing the face that Can would never admit he always sought in his dreams.

"Hey," Tin said with a smile. It didn't reach his eyes. "Come in."

Can could attempt to prepare himself all he wants but the very sight of Tin was enough to send a jolt so strong he actually felt frozen on the spot.

Tongue tied, Can moved like a puppet. He gingerly passed Tin by the door, already feeling the heat from the other man's body as he passed him. Can was struck with the urge to run, but his feet were heavy boulders attached to his legs.

The door closed shut in a quiet click. But it made Can jump. The chuckle behind him made Can glance over his shoulder.

"No need to be so jumpy Can," Tin said. His voice a tad lower, huskier. "We're the only ones in here after all."

Swallowing, Can summoned all the strength he had not to cower to this man. He was never afraid of Tin from before. But this man wearing an older, mature face of Tin was so... different.

Tin walked past by him, leading the way. His casual black shirt and denims looking still so expensive. "What do you want to have? Water? Wine? Beer?"

Can followed the taller man into what seemed like the bar. Tin was already rummaging into the giant silver fridge for the ice. The loud tinkles were like jabs into Can's skin.

"Uhm, I've read your offer," he began.

"U-huh," Tin replied as he pulled two glasses from beneath the counter top. "What of it? Not happy? You want to increase the monthly allowance?"

"No." Can drew a deep breath. "I... I want to make a request."

That had Tin pause pouring a golden liquid into one of the glasses. He looked up at Can, his eyes the usual dark penetrative gaze.

"That's fast."

"I need money."

Tin chuckled. He went back to pouring the drinks into the glasses, as though he had all the time in the world. In retrospect, Tin really did. "I know. Otherwise you're not going to be here."

"..."

The man pushed one of the glasses closer to the edge of the counter, towards Can. Tin picked his and took a sip, eyes never wavering from Can as though he was also drinking in what he could see in front of him. Can felt so naked underneath Tin's gaze.

"75,000 not enough? You've turned greedy, haven't you?"

Can took a step, grabbed the glass and swallowed all the contents. He nearly spat everything out. It was so bitter. But he swallowed everything down. Much like how he was going to swallow everything that came along with this deal.

"I need it because—"

"I don't care why you need it," Tin cut in.

Can went still. Tin placed his glass back on the counter. His movements weirdly fluid and flawless, much like everything about him. The man leaned his hip against the edge of the black counter top and regarded Can quietly.

"Number 5 of the contract," Tin drawled. "I didn't put that there for a joke."

How can Can forget about it? It was haunting him even more so at this moment.

_"Requests are free to be made and could be given in the form of exchanges and rewards."_

"What do you want me to do?" Can said in a whisper. No matter how many times he read that he still couldn't understand it.

Tin smiled and moving towards Can he did. The more the man got closer, the clearer the difference between them got. This man had grown even taller. Had grown so much broader. Had turned so much fiercer. He was  _so_  beautiful. And Can felt like the idiot fly dazzled by the golden flame. He quickly averted his gaze down to the floor before he revealed too much in his eyes.

"Don't do that," Tin whispered. Can felt fingertips against his chin. Gently, Can was forced to look right at Tin's eyes. "I like eye contact. With  _everything_. So unless I tell you otherwise, I want your eyes on me."

Can could only swallow.

"So what can you give for our first exchange?" Tin wondered aloud, his fingers dancing by Can's ear. The touch was so feather light but every graze of the man's nails felt like a burn.

Can waited. It was all he could do. Wait with bated breath.

"How about..." Tin mumbled, his fingers stopping by Can's nape. "...We fuck right here right now?"

Can went rigid. Tin looked so serious. And so weirdly frightening.

But a few seconds passed and Tin burst into laughter.

The man's laughter filled in the whole massive room. It was so beautiful in Can's ears. They sound like waves in the quiet ocean for some reason. He liked the sound of it. But it was also slicing through Can's insides.

In Tin's eyes, he was really just a toy to mock with, wasn't he?

"I don't just fuck when I'm not in the mood. Besides we still have loads of things to settle," Tin said still laughter in his voice. "The look on your face Can. I should take pictures of them from now on."

Tin patted Can's cheek once before stepping a foot back. The man inserted his hands in the pockets of his fading denim jeans and cocked his head to the side.

"For your first request. What shall we do?"

"...?"

"Name your price."

Can fought hard the burn in his eyes. He sucked in a breath, calming himself.

This guy wearing the face of a long lost friend was taunting him. This guy who was so familiar yet as good as a stranger. It hurts so much to see this man wearing the face of Can's first love looking at him, insulting him like this. But he was never going to shed tears in front of this guy. Doing so was already like admitting defeat.

"What will you give in exchange?" Tin continued.

"..."

"How about give me something blue?"

Can blinked at the man in front of him. His nervousness morphing into a quiet anger. "Do you think this is funny? I'm serious. If you want to fuck here, then let's fuck. I'm already selling myself to you. Why are you acting like this?"

"Because it  _is_  funny."

"..."

The smile on Tin's face faded. "But I'm also very serious."

Can lowered the envelope he was still clutching to the stool close to him. He fixed his gaze at Tin's just like how the man wanted. He came here with his dirty-white sneakers. His dark brown jeans were in contrast to his old white t-shirt. He wasn't wearing any belt. His underwear was black. He didn't have anything blue on him.

Until Can remembered a candy he'd bought earlier thinking it would relieve his nerves. It sat untouched in his pocket. He gingerly reached for it with his hand, unsure of what would happen. He pulled it out, the crinkling wrapper loud in the silence. He held it out to Tin.

"This is all I've got."

Tin stared at the small candy in blue wrapper. Can couldn't tell what the man was thinking.

"Name your price."

Can felt so frustrated he bit out, "Five million."

The other man's lips quirked to the side before he pulled his phone out of the pocket of his jeans. Can gaped at Tin, unsure of what was happening. The man narrowed his eyes, swiped so fast on the screen and then nodded in satisfaction.

With regal grace, Tin straightened from where he was, tucking his phone back in his pocket. "Five million. In your account." He closed the distance again, this time grabbing the candy from Can's hand. "The card is in my study. I'll give it to you later."

"T-that's it?" Can breathed out, lost.

Tin waved the candy in the air once, unwrapped it and popped it into his mouth. "People would go crazy over this five-million candy."

Can's eyes were fixed at that mouth. The same mouth that kept insulting him, the same mouth that was taunting him, and the very same mouth that was already so close to his he didn't even notice.

The sudden strong fingers behind his nape made Can's eyes widen. Tin's expression was equal amusement and sarcasm. And it was something Can didn't know what to do with. He doubted he'll ever know.

"Open your mouth."

Can knew he could be slow. But he was still too stunned at how Tin was just throwing millions like it was five cents he just stared like the idiot he was. The yelp in his mouth when Tin's large hand grabbed at his jaws was drowned by Tin's soft chuckle.

With Tin's cold hand forcing Can to look up, gaze narrowed into slits of demand, he again drawled, "Open your mouth, Can."

He opened his mouth more to breathe than anything else. But Tin leaned forward and crashed his mouth into Can's with such force that nearly pushed Can down on his knees. Can wanted to hold on to something, barely remembering that he wasn't allowed to touch, hold, or reach for this man devouring his mouth.

The tongue that thrust into Can's mouth was as demanding as the hand around his jaws, forcing him to open wider. It was getting harder to breath. Getting harder to think. And just as Can thought he'd lose his ability to stand, everything stopped. The only things left were the tingling on his assaulted lips, the taste of the bitter drink that Tin had drank, and the little ball of candy from Tin's mouth, its sweetness now melting on Can's tongue.

"The candy doesn't even taste good," Tin muttered as he walked away. "Finish it."

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He was greatly aware of the other's presence as he walked deeper into his sterile home. Can's steps were so loud compared to his quieter ones. Tin continued walking, pleased that Can was following behind like the pet he would be.

Swiftly he ran his tongue at the corner of his lips still sensing the pliant softness he'd just claimed. He didn't like how they felt so still damn familiar.

He stopped in front of the open door to his study. Looking over his shoulder he said, "This is where I spend most of my day. Working and stuff. You are never allowed in here. Or I will chain you by the post in my bed."

Can's face pinched into a grimace. Tin found it amusing.

As they went along, Tin continued dropping little tidbits of places that Can was free to go and ones he shouldn't be.

"The kitchen is always stocked. Feel free to eat and use anything in the pantry. Also I have a butler that lives below this floor. You will meet him soon." Tin threw a glance over his shoulder. Can was staring at the floor. "Can, are you listening?"

The other man lifted his gaze, staring directly at Tin. "Where will I sleep?"

Tin's lips pulled at the corners. He paused at the slightly ajar door of his bedroom and pushed it wider for Can. "Honestly I don't mind where you sleep," he said as he entered, motioning for Can to follow. "You can sleep in the living room. In the guest rooms here. You can even sleep in the hallway. Wherever suits your taste."

"...?"

"But I want my fuck toy ready when I need him."

"Fuck... toy...?"

"Well what are you?"

Can looked away, his cheeks tainted with red, his neck more so. It was a pretty interesting sight.

Tin walked towards his massive made bed and sat at the corner. "I may not be fitting into any of the Dom descriptions those people at Versalles are trying to tell you. So I'm going to tell you now."

The other man just stood by the door frame, a lost and confused look in his eyes.

"I don't like being called Sir or Master or whatever bullshit. Tin is fine. I also don't enjoy whipping, or sex toys at all. I may bind, chain you, blindfold you, but that's as far as I would go."

"You won't...?"

"What?" Tin smirked. "Do you actually want to be flogged or be hanged in a St Andrew's cross? We can arrange it if you want to."

Because more than inflicting any physical pain, Tin thrived in the mind fuck.

Can frowned before he smoothened his expression. "No."

"Have they told you about the safe word and a hard limit?"

Can just nodded.

"What's your safe word?"

"Red."

Tin crossed his arms. "I would think of something else but maybe it's better. I don't want you forgetting your safe word while we're getting on it." He then looked at the sole black and white painting against the wall. "I demand complete obedience. I don't want any complaints unless it's your hard limit."

"Why?"

"What ' _why'_?" Tin asked with a raised brow as he turned back to Can. "Fuck toys are just that.  _Toys_. Do toys talk back? Do they touch back?"

Can's face fell. "Tin..." the man whispered. "What happened to you?"

That soft voice and the pity on Can's face unexpectedly made Tin bristle. He abruptly stood from the bed. "Neither are you allowed to question me," he almost growled.

"Can't we talk like normal people at least? Can't we keep up with each other's lives like any acquaintance would?"

Tin approached Can, his steps wide and fast. He felt pleasure noticing how Can took a step back. He was menacing when he wanted to and Can hasn't even seen the tip of it. "I bought a fuck toy in this deal. Not someone who'd tell me what to do."

"You're mad at me. You're still mad at me," Can said. The sureness in the man's voice made Tin pause. He searched Can's eyes and only saw grief in them. Fucking grief. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

The laughter that escaped Tin's mouth surprised even him. He shook his head at Can, feeling the chords of his muscles tense. "'Mad' is such a light word, Can. You don't know what I'm feeling right now."

"Then tell me!" Can shouted.

Tin exhaled. He'd never allowed anyone to shout at him like this but he'd let this pass just once. For the sake of initiation.

"Anger doesn't cover it, Can. No word can cover it." He loomed over Can's pale face. "I'll tell you this just once and I won't ever say it again. I felt  _betrayed_. A billion times more than my family ever did."

"But I was so much younger back then! I didn't know things!"

"So was I!" Tin growled. "But it doesn't matter anymore. In the end, you're just like all of them."

"...?"

"So I'm telling you, I'm not mad at you, Can. I'm not. You're just dead to me."

Can's face, pained and distraught, only made Tin feel the burn in his gut intensify. "You have one last chance to back down from this Can. You can either step out of this room and never look back. You'll never have to see the monster that is me." Tin lowered his voice, yet he could feel the words vibrate through his chest. "Or get in here and stay and fulfill whatever's in the contract. Decide now. Because I promise you, it's not going to be a bed of roses."

The other looked down, those tiny fists shaking. Just when Tin thought Can would step back, the other stepped forward, almost colliding against Tin's chest.

Tin inhaled, smelling the scent of sun and faint shampoo on the other's hair. He allowed a few seconds to pass. A few beats of silence. Then obvious that Can had already made his final decision, he asked, "Starting today, you are my what again?"

"..."

Tin leaned down by the other's ear and ordered, "Say it."

Can looked up, his eyes red, his lips wavering. "Just..." he swallowed, "...your fuck toy."

A=a=a=a=a

**Chapter end notes:**

It's currently on Chapter 28 in Wattpad so please just head over there. I'm slow updating here. :) 

-shuusetsu

 


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